More tranny stories later!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
