I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
