Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
