you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
smell my finger.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
