Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
