a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize