That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
