That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize