I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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