Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.

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  (732): i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds. http://tfl.nu/8f3d
  Replies (8) Good night (5753) Bad night (1378)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

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  (704): The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it. http://tfl.nu/e919
  Replies (20) Good night (8023) Bad night (1291)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn

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  (401): The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn http://tfl.nu/nlq4
  Replies (5) Good night (2672) Bad night (1267)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.

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  (605): Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy. http://tfl.nu/ugyo
  Replies (3) Good night (3324) Bad night (1208)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone

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  (480): oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone http://tfl.nu/6uha
  Replies (5) Good night (2116) Bad night (909)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.

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  (301): A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero. http://tfl.nu/wa7o
  Replies (17) Good night (5169) Bad night (827)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer

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  (518): Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer http://tfl.nu/1maf
  Replies (1) Good night (1264) Bad night (595)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?

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  (908): how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency? http://tfl.nu/6372
  Replies (7) Good night (463) Bad night (1284)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.

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  (727): He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life. http://tfl.nu/pdok
  Replies (12) Good night (776) Bad night (1268)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.

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  (907): I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex. http://tfl.nu/29kt
  Replies (11) Good night (759) Bad night (1068)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers

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  (267): This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers http://tfl.nu/wazn
  Replies (6) Good night (1497) Bad night (483)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.

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  (708): I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/vs89
  Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (407)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?

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  (812): Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout? http://tfl.nu/r4f3
  Replies (9) Good night (480) Bad night (807)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?

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  (406): If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins? http://tfl.nu/nbuw
  Replies (2) Good night (712) Bad night (472)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.

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  (425): Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting. http://tfl.nu/at9f
  Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (236)

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