Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic

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  (512): Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic http://tfl.nu/ja5d
  Replies (16) Good night (4983) Bad night (624)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.

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  (360): not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible. http://tfl.nu/ukgo
  Replies (20) Good night (4487) Bad night (806)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars

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  (516): Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars http://tfl.nu/6xt5
  Replies (21) Good night (7171) Bad night (904)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.

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  (860): Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water. http://tfl.nu/9vgl
  Replies (6) Good night (4454) Bad night (1017)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...

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  (416): You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere... http://tfl.nu/u20i
  Replies (6) Good night (2204) Bad night (1730)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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  (716): I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine. http://tfl.nu/zg3z
  Replies (9) Good night (3741) Bad night (674)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.

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  (504): Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit. http://tfl.nu/1p19
  Replies (4) Good night (2499) Bad night (773)
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  (916): View more from California

  He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.

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  (916): He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/4abm
  Replies (9) Good night (1961) Bad night (722)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.

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  (407): My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now. http://tfl.nu/oxop
  Replies (12) Good night (2648) Bad night (667)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.

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  (712): Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking. http://tfl.nu/ew1c
  Replies (5) Good night (1364) Bad night (552)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.

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  (816): Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going. http://tfl.nu/sjn0
  Replies (11) Good night (2606) Bad night (827)
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  (818): View more from California

  So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway

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  (818): So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway http://tfl.nu/rhtw
  Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (289)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.

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  (307): I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/gswm
  Replies (5) Good night (376) Bad night (613)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.

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  (267): I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs. http://tfl.nu/gl01
  Replies (1) Good night (271) Bad night (456)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.

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  (250): i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship. http://tfl.nu/cj66
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (277)

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