she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.