Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(765): View more from Indiana

i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car

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(303): View more from Colorado

this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.

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(716): View more from New York

That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(985): View more from Louisiana

I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day

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(843): View more from South Carolina

There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.

(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.

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(779): View more from Illinois

I smell like gasoline and adventure.

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(631): View more from New York

I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned

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(406): View more from Montana

We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.

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