please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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