What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm having to shit out rocks
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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