pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
