im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We're too hungover to prance.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
