hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
