is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
