I can't watch pbs sober anymore
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
