I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
