apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
