I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
