I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
