I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
