Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
And then he peed in my hair
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