Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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