So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
