a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
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