i don't like sucking hair
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
