So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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