I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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