He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
