Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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