Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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