it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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