Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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