woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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