I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
