So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
