hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
