I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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