Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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