my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
