Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Text me some of your sweat
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
