god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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