she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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