She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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