i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he fucked my hip out of place.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months