After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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