so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.