Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends