Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.

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  (407): i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all. http://tfl.nu/cnhy
  Replies (18) Good night (705) Bad night (1545)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.

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  (504): That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy. http://tfl.nu/e23b
  Replies (11) Good night (673) Bad night (2010)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.

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  (610): i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub. http://tfl.nu/fmmx
  Replies (33) Good night (1450) Bad night (5969)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?

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  (646): Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP? http://tfl.nu/u40s
  Replies (154) Good night (11843) Bad night (2126)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?

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  (443): Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert? http://tfl.nu/7qpe
  Replies (8) Good night (1008) Bad night (2488)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.

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  (815): we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod. http://tfl.nu/j49l
  Replies (7) Good night (3021) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.

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  (406): Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body. http://tfl.nu/hcjb
  Replies (6) Good night (1087) Bad night (2423)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.

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  (905): Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up. http://tfl.nu/c9v7
  Replies (9) Good night (779) Bad night (3128)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession

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  (501): All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession http://tfl.nu/yu57
  Replies (5) Good night (2367) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants

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  (231): the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants http://tfl.nu/ctb5
  Replies (4) Good night (1764) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.

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  (908): No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability. http://tfl.nu/nqzp
  Replies (20) Good night (723) Bad night (3049)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair

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  (262): I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair http://tfl.nu/3k67
  Replies (3) Good night (988) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"

  (1-416): View more from Toronto

  You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?

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  (416): She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?" (1-416): You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right? http://tfl.nu/2p2l
  Replies (17) Good night (2665) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.

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  (253): want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some. http://tfl.nu/g1u1
  Replies (9) Good night (515) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (227): View more from Maryland

  Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake

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  (227): Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake http://tfl.nu/ij8f
  Replies (7) Good night (388) Bad night (743)

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