Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.

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  (706): So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator. (404): I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer? (706): Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out. http://tfl.nu/p10m
  Replies (29) Good night (859) Bad night (2003)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just got to costco. Where are you?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Liquor aisle, bring another cart.

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  (773): Just got to costco. Where are you? (602): Liquor aisle, bring another cart. http://tfl.nu/c1j1
  Replies (33) Good night (15403) Bad night (812)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium

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  (254): The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium http://tfl.nu/41rv
  Replies (20) Good night (3347) Bad night (1397)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right

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  (540): Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right http://tfl.nu/yhhf
  Replies (38) Good night (4950) Bad night (984)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer

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  (734): wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer http://tfl.nu/eltm
  Replies (30) Good night (5712) Bad night (684)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game

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  (304): But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game http://tfl.nu/osln
  Replies (23) Good night (5664) Bad night (930)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"

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  (503): The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone" http://tfl.nu/b2m1
  Replies (15) Good night (4687) Bad night (1275)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.

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  (423): I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats. http://tfl.nu/9par
  Replies (6) Good night (1870) Bad night (2476)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.

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  (217): Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty. http://tfl.nu/eut4
  Replies (9) Good night (687) Bad night (1911)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.

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  (570): He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help. http://tfl.nu/6hrq
  Replies (10) Good night (1085) Bad night (3570)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.

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  (734): The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use. http://tfl.nu/kozs
  Replies (7) Good night (1156) Bad night (495)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"

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  (586): Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face" http://tfl.nu/ajht
  Replies (6) Good night (2179) Bad night (580)
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  (+86): View more from China

  Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.

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  (+86): Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage. http://tfl.nu/0ehg
  Replies (5) Good night (853) Bad night (253)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close

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  (312): When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close http://tfl.nu/wkbe
  Replies (12) Good night (1527) Bad night (344)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship

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  (910): I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship http://tfl.nu/4tn2
  Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (243)

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