Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow

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(954): View more from Florida

I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.

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(559): View more from California

I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.

(1-559): View more from California

Yup.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Whats the glycemic index on semen?

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(240): View more from Maryland

9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook

(301): View more from Maryland

it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.

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(512): View more from Texas

dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf

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(402): View more from Nebraska

This gyro tastes like lonliness

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(519): View more from Ontario

A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver

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