sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
