i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.