is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver