Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
