I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize