I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i need an iv and a liver transplant
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
