brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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