we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
