pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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