im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Randomize
