Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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