I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
