Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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