she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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