Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
