I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
