Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
