You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
