is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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