I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
